Thursday, 10 April 2014

Insecurities


1. Short legs
2. Flat chest
3. Freckles
4. Scars 
5. Knock knees
6. Untoned tummy
7. Large pores
8. Hairy arms
9. Round cheeks
10. Squinty eyes

The beautiful Kaylee from Kaylie Marie wrote this post a few days ago all about insecurities. She and her friend thought "it would be a good idea to start a conversation about it around the blogosphere. Not to bring others down, but to help each other realize that we all have them. We are all imperfect, and we shouldn't expect perfection from ourselves or each other"

Listed above are ten insecurities I have. Some are worse than others, some have improved over the years and some I have chosen not to list because I feel it would be crossing the 'personal space' line that is so blurry on the internet.

I haven't listed these things so you can comment saying that I'm crazy and silly and I should be appreciative of what I have. Please don't do that. That isn't the intention at all for this post. I am appreciative of all I have, flaws and all. It is has been a long journey to accepting myself for who I am and while I haven't quite reached the end, I am taking steps to improve. 

In high school, my self esteem was hard to find. I'm not sure if its because I was female, a teenager or because I went to an all girls school where comparison was more important than learning, but growing up as a woman was hard. There was always someone prettier, taller and skinnier and somehow, somewhere along the way I was taught to envy them. 

I see it in young girls now. I see thirteen year old's on diets, I see young boys competing with each other for who has the bigger muscles and I think to myself, why? Why are we raising our children like this? Who decided it was okay to compare ourselves physically to one another as if looks were a thing of status or achievement? It breaks my heart to think there are millions of young teens (and adults too!) who aren't satisfied with what they see in the mirror.

"Comparison is the thief of joy" -- Theodore Roosevelt

Joy is found when we rid ourselves of all expectations and comparisons and see everyone else as an individual, with their own set of flaws and gifts. To me, confidence is what is beautiful. I see skinny girls at the beach, covered up eating their salads, and you can tell they are ashamed of their bodies. I look to the other side and I see curved beauties strutting their stuff, playing beach volleyball and they are confident and they are happy and they don't give a damn...and you know what? neither does anyone else.

We are never going to be satisfied. We are never going to have it all but once we start to look beyond the expectations and the comparisons perhaps we can be content with what we have and who we are and our insecurities can become a statement, a definition of us. This isn't a matter of how the world views us but rather how we view the world and the people and values that surround us.

I am working on letting go of the above insecurities. I hope in 12 months time I can look back upon that list and have halved it. Some might be replaced with new ones, some may remain but I want to be a person who can look at myself in the mirror and see an imperfect person who is beautiful despite her flaws, a person who has been blessed with a body and a life that she can be proud of and a person who can encourage others to feel amazing in their own skin despite what society tells them.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." -- 1 Peter 3:3-4

**update: THIS

33 comments:

  1. this was such a great post. I think it is awesome to show people that imperfections aren't all that imperfect.
    I'm totally with you on the flat chest, people have given me a hard time for that my whole but the way I see it..hey...I couldn't sleep on my tummy if I had double D's so.. for the win! :D

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    1. Yes!! that brought a smile to my face :)

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  2. mmmh, yes, yes, yes. that teddy roosevelt quote is one of my all time favorites. this was such a good post! thank you for being so honest, open, and real. xx.

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  3. Definitely an inspiring post. I think you're beautiful, and sometimes imperfections are perfect.

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  4. Hi Samantha! First of all, I just wanted to tell you how amazing and inspiring your blog is. I love finding ladies who not only enjoy photography but have a heart for Jesus, too. This blog world is amazing! :)

    Anyway, I love this post idea (and link-up!). What a great way to get to know bloggers and really embrace honesty, true beauty, and ourselves, too. Thanks for your honesty! It's so refreshing and as someone who has pretty noticeable acne scars, it's made me embrace them again, too. :)

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    1. Oh thank you lovely Kiki. Your words truly warm me. I have just sent you an email. Check your inbox :)

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  5. oh, my goodness. thank you so much for posting! this was such an encouragement! xx

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  6. What an inspiring post, I really like the idea of acceptance and understanding :)

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  7. Nothing wrong with being self aware - the mark of someone who is truly self confident is the ability to recognize their "faults" and deal with it. Great post :)

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  8. that was really really great sam. we have some of the same insecurities and i would have never known. thanks so much for sharing, that was beautiful.

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  10. Love this! What an encouraging post :) I've found myself all-too guilty of spending a good chunk of my day hating my "flaws" but you're so right. I love when you said that "joy is found when we rid ourselves of all expectations and comparisons and see everyone else as an individual, with their own set of flaws and gifts." We've all got something to offer - the world would be seriously boring if we were all made the same!

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    1. Amen! Here's to being perfectly inperfect individuals!

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  11. Amen. Amen. AMEN! This was so encouraging to me. It breaks my heart to see young girls and boys with so many insecurities. I wish I could tell every single one how perfect all their imperfections make them. That God made them specifically that way.

    Thank you for posting this. It's a great reminder!

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  12. I started working an eating disorder nonprofit this year, and their programs are aimed at children aged 6-12 because both boys and girls are developing eating disorders that young. The statistics are so, so scary. And it just made rethink the way I view my body. Yes, I want to be beautiful, and I'm thankful that my idea of what beauty is has expanded over the years, but I don't want to be beautiful above all. I don't want to be beautiful at the risk of hating myself or obsessing over my flaws or not eating because I think beautiful means starving. I want to be brave and funny and smart and a whole host of other things, and I want that for everyone else, too. I try to dedicate even a tiny bit of my brain space to negative thoughts about my body. Why waste the energy when there's so much else to celebrate?

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    1. *try NOT to dedicate, haha :)

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    2. It makes my heart cry knowing that there are people that young suffering from such a terrible and crippling illness. I don't know where it all stems from and I wish I knew so I could work my hardest to stop it. It is wonderful however that there are people like you willing to sacrifice their time to help those in need and in doing so are helping themselves with their own insecurities. If only the whole world could be so kind

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  13. This really touched my heart Samantha. I really needed this post, I've been feeling a little down about my appear niece the last couple weeks and I love that quite about comparison being the thief of joy. It so is and why we let satan control our thoughts and keep us in bondage ...I have no idea why. Thank you for helping me remember I'm beautiful. xo

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    1. It's things like this that remind me why I love blogging. It is so hard to put myself out there sometimes but its comforting to know others are by my side and are feeling the same. We all become insecure at some point at time, perhaps more often that not, but knowing that our worth and our beauty is found in God alone is what should keep us strong and confident in ourselves xx

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  14. Thanks for writing about this subject. I like these kinds of posts too because it's nice to be reminded that everyone can be vulnerable at times. You're such a beautiful person!

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  15. Sam, you are so great. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. You are such an encouragement and you are so beautiful!

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  16. I have all the feels over this post Sam.

    I just kind of want to keyboard mash and then hug you! haha
    I wrote a really rambling draft of a blog post a couple of weeks called confidence. I might edit it a lot and actually post it now because I am so grateful that you opened up to us about this.
    As much as I must tell you that you are adorable and have such kind heart that seems to radiate from you in the pictures I have seen, it is true that it's not even about that. We are all different and perfect in our flaws.

    I went to an all girls school and I hear you! We are taught to think in a way that only increases the natural human tendency to criticise oneself. I always felt so sad when I would do house stuff with the younger girls and I would hear them talk, particularly about how they see themselves. But I can't judge them because I was just the same at that age!

    I just want to tell them all they are beautiful and unique. And like literally no one likes their body when they are 14, but one day you will look back and feel silly for caring so much. Ahh, anyway.

    Lots of love x

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    1. Oh Meg, keyboard mash away. That is the intention indeed. I would love to read that blog post of yours, I think it is such an important topic that get brushed under the rug too often. My dream is to see our younger generations embrace their bodies and their own personalities. We are all made so differently that it is unfair to compare one to another - it just isn't an even playing ground. We are all beautiful, inside and out, and if we start focusing on loving ourselves more (in a non-selfish way of course) then others can love us back also!

      Sending virtual hugs your way x

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  17. i saw that dove video and it was really mind blowing how we see ourselves vs. our others see us. i have some insecurities about me as well that i'm trying to figure out. some days are better than others..

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    1. Some days are indeed better than others but we have to remind ourselves that the truth about our worth is seen on the good days, not the bad. Being insecure isn't wrong at all. We all suffer from that. It's letting it get to us that is the issue.

      Thanks so much for the beautiful comments Jane. You are always so lovely xx

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  18. Great post Samantha! We all have insecurities, and I think it almost takes a lifetime to really accept ourselves. That is part of the big journey!

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  19. this post is so lovely! i have a bunch of insecurities that i need to work on, but i'll get over them and learn to accept eventually:)

    helen at thelovecatsinc.com

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  20. This is such a wonderful post. It reminds me of a writing assignment I had once, in which each person in my class was instructed to stare at themselves in the mirror for at least 10 minutes and write about what we saw. It was the first time I truly saw my face for what it is, I counted dozens of scars from chicken pox, I saw peach fuzz everywhere and blackheads and I remember writing only about my flaws. Looking back, I'm not sure why I didn't write about how much I love my eyebrows or my eyes, or my few freckles... I think it's so easy to focus on the things that we aren't happy with because of how heavily media focuses on improvement. Improvement isn't a bad thing, but it should be a positive journey, and not one that downplays our natural qualities. I love the quotes you shared and appreciate how honest you are :) Beautiful words from a beautiful girl.

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    1. It's so easy, almost natural, to point our own flaws before we start to see the beauty. It just shows what humans focus on. It's a sad reality, one I hope to help remove over time. Women (and men) deserve to feel beautiful everyday!

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  21. comparison is the thief of joy is one of my favorite quotes! loved this post!

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  22. I always find it interesting when people mention their insecurities. Most of the time I think "really I never noticed". I think with most, it is an internal battle that most other people do not notice.

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  23. Thank you for this Samantha! I absolutely love this and I am working on loving for myself as I am - inside and out. Some of the flaws you listed, I relate to extremely and I am just so proud of you for encouraging such a healthy discussion about flaws and confidence and beauty, so thank you! you rock :)

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    1. :) Thanks so much for your lovely comment. I am glad that I can inspire and encourage others. To me, this issue is not spoken about enough so it's great to hear that others too can come out openly and accept their flaws

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