Friday, 22 August 2014

4 years.

Warning: It's about to get a whole lot sappy on here

This guy.

It's been 4 years since we first whispered "I love you" to each other and I can easily say we've never regretted saying those words. We've never thought twice about it. Never.

Life with this man is certainly an adventure. It's a tough adventure sure, but it's a great one, one I couldn't imagine doing with anyone else.

We may not be married or living with each other, so I get that there is plenty that we don't yet know or understand but to me that is so exciting! We have so much life left to live and I'm lucky I can do it with him by my side.

He has helped me grow into a person I am proud of. He has led me in great ways and helped me through so much pain. He has supported me through all my wacky ideas and dreams and he has held my hand as I walked along the narrow roads. Oh and he makes me laugh, like the kind of laughter that makes your stomach hurt.

I am blessed beyond all measure and I thank God for him every day.

Happy Anniversary Stephen. I love you x

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Darkness of Rain

Sydney has been facing some tough rain lately. The days have become shorter, the light dims faster and the body starts to lag. Time slows and bones chill.

We were fortunate enough to not experience too much rain in New Zealand, but even when we did we found the beauty in the day. Rain darkens things but sometimes that darkness is itself a beautiful thing.

The mist came over the mountains and surrounded us gently and our breathe could be seen dancing through our lips as we talked. The coffee tasted better, the conversations were warmer, our scarves wrapped tighter and the fire burned brighter.

Things look so different in the rain, don't you think?

Friday, 15 August 2014

New eyes. New perspective

The thing I loved about New Zealand is that you could look at the same view again and again and it would always look different. Never the same.

The way the light reflected off the snow capped mountains that one morning.

The way the airport's hustle and bustle shone upon the lake at night.

The way one day would shine orange and the next a calm blue.

The same view, always different.

Perhaps that is how I need to start looking at the world. I see the same things day after day but more often than not I look at them with the same eyes as the day before. I fail to notice the little changes in the day around me. I forget that things may in fact be changing but my mind, which has remained in the past, has made me blind.

Just because that hurdle was tough yesterday does not mean it has to be tough tomorrow.

Just because my hair is brown today does not mean it cant be red next week.

Just because I see Stephens face so often should not mean that it is less attractive to me.

I shouldn't need a beautiful sun to show me that the situations I face day to day can always look new and different. All I need is to wake up every day with new eyes and a new perspective.

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

You are loved.

Someone is back from their trip to New Zealand! Did you miss me?

I certainly missed you and I can't wait to tell you all about it.

Coming back home after a week away was something I was weirdly looking forward to. There is something about the familiarity of home that I love so much; my warm and messy bed, the fly away cat hairs on my pillow, the coffee cup stains on my night stand.

But what I experienced was a little bit too familiar. I came home to parents suffering from sickness, to a boyfriend who was going through troubles at work, to my own personal workload that constantly overwhelms me, to a room that was as messy as I left it, to a life I forgot was sometimes troublesome.

I don't know why but I thought that going away for a week would make things at home do a 180 degree turn. I thought that if I went away for a week and got that break, then everything back at home would too. I didn't properly prepare myself for the initial shock that nothing really changes, that life goes on.

Yesterday we lost one of my favourite actors to an illness I sadly know too well. I haven't found the words to write about it all yet, but when I do I want to share it with you because this issue, this sad issue, is something that I don't think is spoken about enough and if it is I feel many do not really understand the severity of the situation.

I pray for all those living in that terrible place. I pray that others will understand how dark those walls can be and that opening a window sometimes won't let light through. I pray that this world, in all its darkness, can work together to help each other turn on the lights. I pray we can support one another and speak up, ask questions or just listen to those in need. Sometimes all it takes is to ask someone how they are to make a difference.

I don't have the words right now and I'm sorry for that. There is a post I've been trying to write for quite some time but this delicate issue is so tricky to talk about and I don't want to share until I'm ready.

I am excited to be home and excited to talk to you all again. You have become a group of people that I love so much and I look forward to hearing from. You have helped me more than you can ever know. Sometimes, I suppose, it is good that not everything changes.

So thank you.

And if you are ever wondering, just remember that you are loved. You truly are.

Friday, 8 August 2014

A loved up day.

While I'm off exploring the beauty of New Zealand, I want you to enjoy some images I took a few weekends ago. Two loved up couples, one beautifully lit afternoon.

I didn't know if this industry was what I needed.

I didn't know if I would be any good.

But it turns out that it is surprising me and I am surprising myself.

So much is happening and so much is progressing and I am excited beyond belief.

Sometimes I fear it is all happening too fast but perhaps it is better to happen quickly than not at all.

Life is a mystery sometimes, don't you think?

To have a look at the remaining shots from these sessions, head to my Portfolio Journal here.


p.s. I am missing reading all your beautiful posts. Looking forward to returning to a great amount of reading.